Sunday, November 29, 2020

Big Book Announcement: Black Dog, White Couch, and the Rest of My Really Bad Ideas

Over the years, I've told you many secrets on this blog. And today, I've got another one for you.

See, I am the Princess of Poor Choices. The Senora of Stupid Plans. The Queen of Questionable Schemes.

Yes - I am really good.

At bad ideas.

And in my newest book, Black Dog, White Couch, and the Rest of My Really Bad Ideas, I’ll tell you about all of them, beginning with the terrible choice of owning an ill-mannered black dog at the same time as a white couch, then obtaining another enormous, drooling dog - and several more white couches.

But wait! There’s more!

Like the time I spent $800 on a 99-cent goldfish. And the time I super-glued mothballs to a tarp and almost killed my family. And almost every single thing I did in the 1980s.

A follow-up to my first book, I Love You. Now Go Away: Confessions of a Woman with a Smartphone, Black Dog, White Couch, and the Rest of My Really Bad Ideas is a memoir-in-essays-in idiocy, chock full of bad ideas, aversions to pants, and never-ending quests to get the hell out of Ohio. You will once again learn more about me than you ever wanted to know, and for that, I am once again very sorry. 

So I hope you’ll pull up a couch, pour yourself a nice glass of gas-station wine, and pick up Black Dog, White Couch, and the Rest of My Really Bad Ideas. 

Hey. We may not all agree on many things these days, but I think one thing we can all agree that 2020 was freaking awful. We could all use something to laugh at this year.

It might as well be me.


                                     Available here:


  1. You are soooo not alone in those bad choices. The choices that we have to laugh at (or sob).
    Congratulations on yet another book - proof that some good things can come out of this difficult year.

  2. I don't have to drink gas station wine right now, cuz someone made the mistake of buying me a bottle of whiskey. I don't even drink. I bet I will enjoy this book as much as I did your first book.

  3. You're still so funny!! It's been a while, girl! I'm going to order your new book. I'm still blogging, but not as much. Take care!!! Love, Heidi in Real Life.

  4. Congrats on the new book! Just remember that very soon 2020 will be hindsight. Or something.