Tuesday, December 27, 2011

It's the Most Wonderful Time for a Beer


(post copyright 2010, Dawn Weber)
(Please enjoy this re-post while I take a little bloggy break. Anyway, can it really be the holidays without this goofy shit little ditty I wrote last year?)

It’s the Most Wonderful Time For a Beer!
My paycheck has gone
Straight to Amazon Com
And the husband’s in tears!
It’s the Most Wonderful Time
For a Beer!

It’s the Hap, Happiest Season
Of All!
Unless you're a woman
In which case you're gonna
Be frantic as hell!
It's the Hap, Happiest Season
Of All!

There'll be lights that aren't lighting
Causing Weber fighting
While hanging the crap on the tree
There'll be traffic to crawl through
To get to the mall through
Please - give some Xanax to me.

It’s the Most Wonderful Time
For a Beer!
The tree’s leaning left
Why is it leaning left?
Shit - give me more beer!
It’s the Most Wonderful Time for a Beer!

It's the most Wonderful Time for a Beer!
With visiting relatives
Making me wish I had
Non-working ears!
It's the Most Wonderful Time for a Beer!

There’ll be candy for eating
And fudge to be sneaking
And egg nog filling my glass
There’ll be cookies for scarfing
And pies to be snarfing
Just slap it all right on my ass!

It's the Most Wonderful Time for a Beer!
The money's all spent
I know right where it went
These two kids right here!
It's the Most Wonderful Time...
It's the Most Nerve-Wracking Time...
It's the Most Wonderful Time for a Beer!

16 comments:

  1. I like these lyrics much better than the original, especially the slapping it all on the ass line. I'm lucky to get off the hook from all the Xmas shenanigans. It all still ends up on the ass and belly, though. Such a wonderful time.
    Hugs to you.
    xoRobyn

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  2. LOL! Okay, this is my new favorite Christmas carol.

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  3. Damn, I just finished slamming some gingerbread cheesecake on my ass!

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  4. You have managed to combine happy pills and Latin all into one bit of holiday happiness! Well done!

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  5. I worked, thank God, but now I need fudge, and beer, dark beer...

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  6. Amen!
    I know I could use a beer ( or a six-pack).

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  7. Why else would they make Old Scrooge Christmas Ale?

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  8. What?!?!?! You are ALSO a song writer??? Holy shit, Dawn. Your talents are off the charts. I'm not worthy.

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  9. ...and that's a win.

    Slap some of that cheesecake right on my ass too. Please.

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  10. LOL...this is when i "found" you last year and my life has never been the "same". great choice for a repost. hope your christmas was merry, your new year is happy, and your snarky stays in tact for the coming year! love all of the entertainment you've brought to me in 2011!

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  11. Glass of wine for me instead please. :P

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  12. It is always the most wonderful time for a beer :P

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  13. What a great poem. Really.
    Happy New Year.

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  14. Beautiful! Spells out the Holiday season to a T

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