Monday, February 28, 2011

The Winds of March? Yeah. They Blow.


(post copyright 2010, Dawn Weber)
Giving myself a little bloggy break right now. But I didn't want to let my readers, (all ten of them! I love you guys!) down. (Also I am OCD about posting once per week). This piece first appeared in my "Lighten Up" newspaper column in the Buckeye Lake Beacon last winter. Since March still sucks, I thought I'd re-publish for your pleasure. Lucky you.

 
March: what a tease.

Blowing in our ears with a little warm breeze...slipping off the clouds now and then...giving us a little peek at the sun...batting the robin’s wings.

And then - BAM! More cold, more snow, more gray, more misery.

Yeah, good old month three. My buddy Rick said it best:

“March is my least favorite month of the year. I’m done with winter, but winter ain’t done with me.”

Think this winter’s finished with us? I’m afraid to look. Anyway, something’s wrong with my eyes: The only colors I can see are gray and white.

That’s because, last month alone, the skies dumped more than 30 inches of white stuff on our area, making it the snowiest February on record. Nationwide, it snowed or froze everywhere from Georgia to Florida to Texas.

Somebody get me a Snuggie.

The White Death. Snowmageddon. The Blizzard of 2010. The Worst! Weather! Ever!

Whatever you want to call it - enough already. First snow, then icy rain. Then, more snow. Thawed enough to cause a frigid, ankle-biting, bone-chilling crust. On top of this, guess what? Snow.

We can hack it, though. We’re Ohioans - our state color should be gray. We don’t expect rainbows and unicorns.

We count on crappy weather. We thrive on crappy weather. We ARE crappy weather.

Fifty-five degrees one day, five inches of snow the next? Bring it on. Sunny warm breezes one hour, tornado warning the next? Scoff. What else you got? We’re Buckeyes, baby - tough nuts!

Not only has February 2010 toughened my already thick Buckeye shell, it has proven most educational. I have learned valuable lessons, such as:

  • The old college prank is true - you can lift a Volkswagen Beetle. My neighbor and I hoisted mine out of three-foot-high snowdrift. My lower back will not forget it. Ever.
  • During a power outage, home furnaces can be wired to gasoline-powered generators. In a pinch, this can be done by a 40-year-old cussing mother of two. Crouched amongst spiders. Using a cell phone screen as a flashlight.
  • Shoveling the roof sounds stupid and dangerous. It is! To keep a structure standing under the weight of hundreds of pounds of snow and ice, it is also sometimes necessary.
  • Icicles are lovely. Icicles can also back up inside gutters, thaw inside walls and cause leakage, mold and rot. Icicles are not lovely.
Yes, it’s been an interesting February, the shortest, longest month of the year. But, sure as yellow snow, it does end. Eventually.

And the one good thing about March? It ain’t February.

9 comments:

Heidi-"Heidi in Real Life" said...

I didn't know you last March so this is new to me--you are such a funny, funny writer with such a great take on life. PS- Crack still kills.

Oilfield Trash said...

I agree with you, I am sick of winter time. Thankfully this last week or two here in Texas the high temps have been around 75-80.

Lisa Farmer said...

Things that are better about February than March: little holidays like ground hog day, Valentine's day, the super bowl, a day off work for President's Day, three birthdays in my family. Can't help you in March except lots of gray, (31 days of it!!!!) and March Madness.

Love readi g your blogs!
Lisa F.

Heather (aka Sugar Free) said...

March isn't all bad. I has St. Patrick's Day, my birthday (cough cough-it's the 18th-cough) and the first day of spring!

Sharon said...

This is why I left Ohio at 18. But then I spent 25 yr in Wisconsin. Big improvement! One time I lost a child in a ditch full of snow. Besides St Patrick's day the best thing about March is that it is a countdown to April.

Jody Worsham said...

Hey, I figured out to follow you. Now lead me somewhere...warm...consisently for more than 2 days. As soon as I buy a cute sleeveless Easter dress and sandals for the 9 yr old, it will freeze or sleet or both. Don't count on warm weather until after spring break or Easter which ever comes last.

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R. Jacob said...

oh man, I don't miss that at all. I get cranky when it is forty degrees or less now a days.
waving a one finger salute to the ano man!