Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Ode to a Traffic Jam

(copyright 2016, Dawn Weber)

I want to go home,
I'm feeling quite tragic,
Because just like always,
I am stuck in traffic.

Ten thousand people,
On the road tonight,
In front and behind me,
All ready to fight.

Guy up ahead goes,
Fifty-five in a 70,
Ticking everyone off -
Ain't nobody happy.

Texty McSwervy,
On my driver’s side,
Won't look up from his phone,
Almost hits me broadside.

The asshole behind me,
Rides right on my tail,
Causing me to think thoughts,
That would land me in jail.

Brake lights up ahead,
We slow to a stop,
Could be an accident,
I watch out for cops.

A backup this bad,
You think, “Wreck!” Or “Fire!”
But it usually turns out
To be just a flat tire.

A turtle strolls past me,
On the berm at my right,
I'm jealous ‘cause he is,
Almost home for the night.

The hub sends a text,
Asking where I am,
What can I say?
I'll get there when I can.

I'd rather be with him,
Sipping a beer,
But I'll be on I-70,
For the next 50 years.

Yeah my beer's probably warm,
And my dinner, it's cold,
While I sit in a Honda,
Getting nowhere - but old.


  1. Well...old is better than dead, mostly. So far.

    1. I guess that's one way of looking at it.

  2. I will never complain about my commute again!!!

    1. I used to have a short commute. That I complained about. I'd love to go back in time and smack myself upside the head.

  3. Traffic here on Cape Cod is going to be gridlocked from now till fall.

    1. I can imagine. Just stay home, JoJo - just stay home!

  4. Well at least you used your time profitably to write this poem!

    1. Ha - in my head I was working on it, but not on paper. I've written a lot of places, but never in traffic.

  5. I have a five minute (tops) drive to work. That's if both the lights are red. I feel bad for anyone who has a long commute to work. If it was me, I would be terribly frustrated.

    1. Ah, you are so lucky, Jenny-o! And yes, I am terribly frustrated.

  6. Oh, we can all relate to this. When I go to Portland with cats to be fixed, one can be caught for two hours trying to get a few miles, in and out, and its not just at rush hour. How can more people fit onto this freeway, to go one direction or the other, I think, caught in it, my head wanting to explode. I feel it, your post. I feel it.

  7. Ah traffic jams...the norm on the Autobahn here in Germany. Luckily I am rarely ever driving on it :)

  8. I know how the traffic irritates but you have wrote it very well