Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Get Your Butt Outside

(Post copyright 2014, Dawn Weber)

The sun shines bright on the sidewalk,
Your bike's in the garage, cast aside,
While you sit, transfixed to an iPod,
Please - get your butt outside.

A pool shimmers blue in the backyard, 
The bank-loan for it made us cry, 
But I'm not sure you know that it's there, son,
Since you won't take your heinie outside.

The grass sure could stand a good cutting,
Though I don't think you'll really comply,
As mowers don't feature PlayStations,
And we don't have a TV outside.

The dog waits in vain by the side door,
A real worried look in her eye,
She knows she can't count on you, boy,
There's no way that you'll take her outside.

A trampoline rusts by the driveway,
It misses your feet, that's no lie,
But COD won't play itself, you know,
Hell no, you ain't going outside.

Things sure were different for me, kid,
Back in nineteen seventy-nine,
"Don't come back in this house till the streetlights come on!"
Had no choice. Put on shoes. Went outside.

Anyway, I was glad to go out there,
Especially in June and July,
No A/C makes houses infernos,
And I much preferred frying outside.

There are woods that you should be exploring,
Mitts that could catch a pop-fly,
But Minecraft is what you're adoring,
And it's hard to see laptops outside.

I sure wish I was there now, son,
I'm at work to pay bills for wifi,
But this weekend I'll change up the password,
You can bet - your ass WILL BE outside. 


  1. I got my butt outside, but the neighbors called the cops.
    Apparently, you need to wear pants.
    Damn Amish.

    1. Pants are overrated anyway, Al. And thanks :) - glad you enjoyed it.

  2. I wish more kids played outside these days. It seems to be a thing of the past. Whenever I have children, their butts will be outside enjoying nature!

    1. That was my goal, too, but when I went back to work when the boy was a toddler, things kind of fell apart. I had an old PS1 that I finally let him dabble with, and from there it was all downhill. sigh.

  3. Replies
    1. Well, thank you, milady! Can't wait to try your recipe this weekend!

  4. You're expressing the feelings of a generation of frustrated parents. Nicely done x

    1. Thanks, Indi. Like I was telling our Pearl, I wondered if other parents feel this way. From the reaction, I'd say yes!

  5. Right on kick his sorry ass outside! I had the same childhood as you and I'm so thankful for it.

    A great poem, Dawn. You should submit it to a Parent's magazine.

    1. Thank you, Jayne! That means so much coming from a talent such as yourself. Wish I had more time to submit things. Dang day job getting in the way.

  6. One of the things I love about the program I work for is that we don't do electronic entertainment.

    ONCE every summer we have a 'bring your DS' day, but nothing is allowed that will connect to the internet.

    Once every summer we watch a movie.

    Otherwise, it's up to us to find entertaining things for the kids to do. We do a ton of educational activities, we go outside, we play games in the gym.

    I have to admit that I drove my mom crazy in the summer, she wanted me to, "GO OUTSIDE for goodness sake!!"

    So I'd take whatever book I was reading (always had one) and go sit in a tree and read.

    Can I come swim in your pool?

    1. Of course you can come swim! :)
      When the boy, the Hobo, was littler and I wasn't working, I was pretty good about non-electronic activities (though he did have a little Leapster that I let him play) I went back to work and things kind of fell apart. Sony and Apple sucked him in. I limit screen time on the weekends when I'm home, though I'm sure I come off as a terrible ogre.

  7. I totally get this. We always played outside, too - until the streetlights came on. Times change, sometimes not for the better.

  8. Dawn, you are really, really, really good!

  9. Haha! I'm still laughing, especially in response to "I'm at work to pay bills for wifi." Dawn, you said (or suggested) you weren't a poet. You lied! This is fun, playful, has a great rhythm and bounce and it makes me want to kick your son's ass out of the house. High-fives to you for your plan to change the password, and for this excellent poem. Love it!

  10. Awesome verse and strategy Dawn. We have the same issue here with our kid gang. We try to be real creative in getting them outside and running around; sometimes I feel as though I am fighting a losing battle.

    I hope you enjoy your weekend.

  11. Carol - I know, right? I can't imagine being indoors all day on a beautiful day. Oh wait. Yes I can. It's called my cubicle.
    Ray - Well, I don't know about that! When Ii wrote this I was really, really, really frustrated. Thanks, though, buddy.
    Robyn - That is very high praise coming from a real poet like you! Love your stuff. And thank you for your kind words.
    Slam - Frustrating, isn't it? And I feel like such an ogre sometimes, telling them to stop something with which they have so much fun. But the sun is shining! Go outside!
    Linda - Thank you, thank you.

  12. Big smiles. And memories of the days when we were inside only if we were sick (fortunately rare) or it was bucketting down. Cold or heat didn't phase us.

  13. Excellent! Hilarious and so true.


  14. Without a/c, it was nicer to be outside in the sprinkler, at the beach or my aunt's pool! And if we weren't in the water, we were playing, riding bikes, or sitting on the porch talking. Only time we were inside was for rain!

  15. Elephant's - You're right - the cold and heat was not an issue, and often extremes in each just made for more fun outside.
    Janie - Thanks, and yes - it certainly is true at our place!
    JoJo - Exactly. And even the rain left great puddles.

  16. Okay, now let us work on words that rhyme with apartment. :)

  17. Ha, this was fantastic! So glad you found us, and so glad we wandered over here. My childhood was spent almost entirely outside. No computer. No cellphone. My COD was a rusty bike and a sprinkler on a hot day.