Monday, October 31, 2011

Me, My Son and his Cheap-Azz Costume

(post and snapshot, copyright 2011, Dawn Weber)

You're so splendid, in your ordinary costume.

You think so anyway. I guess you're supposed to be a Grim Reaper. Or a jawa. Or something. I don't know. This getup came from Walmart, of course it did.  I'm not paying any thirty-damn-dollars for the fancy, bloody costume you wanted at the "Halloween U.S.A." store. You'll only wear it twice.

Anyway, have you met me? Yeah. C'mon, son, we're going to Walmart.

"O.K., Mom," you said.

Things are always O.K. with you.

A few days later, I help you pull the thin fabric over your head, and gently place the Made In China light-up glasses over your brown eyes. I have doubts that said Made in China light-up glasses will survive the evening. I am right.

Of course I am. Have you met me? I'm always right.

And before the night ends, your Dad has to duct-tape the frames back together.

None of this concerns you. Pleased as pumpkins, you are, with this chintzy scrap of black polyester. I know this because I catch your smile, Little Reaper, when your Death Hood blows in the breeze.

"O.K. I'm all ready for the costume contest."

You're excited. I know you are, though you try not to show it much because you're practically a man now, being nine and all. You walk proudly and regally to the judging. Just the way a tiny Harbinger of Death should.

You're pretty sure you'll win.

Me? I'm not quite as certain. At the party, I look around and see scads of kids whose moms obviously either 1: shelled out thirty clams for "Halloween U.S.A." offerings or 2: made elaborate costumes for their children. Using actual sewing machines. The colors and effort put into these outfits sear my retinas, like a flashing neon sign.

A sign that says: "You suck, Mommy."

Still proud, still regal, you parade in front of the judges with the others, in a getup that was probably sewn by a little Nicaraguan girl in a sweat shop. Now I wish I'd spent the extra money, bought you the nicest, bloodiest costume "Halloween U.S.A." had to offer. Or at least busted out my dusty sewing machine.

Because you didn't win.

Walking back from the judging, we discuss it.

"Mom, do you think they let the younger kids win? You know, since they're little? Because my costume is pretty good," you say.

Right here, I am nearly pulled to my knees with the weight of my love for you, your kindness and your absolute confidence in your cheap-azz costume. Next year, Little Reaper, we shall go to "Halloween U.S.A." with a giant wad of thirty-damn-dollars in cash.

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure that's it," I say.

"Aw. That's O.K.," you say.

Things are always O.K. with you.


  1. Trick or Treat. :))

  2. Aww. You have a very sweet boy there. Brought a tear to my eye. :)

  3. What a cutie he is in his executioner, jawa, grim reaper combo ;-). I wish I could have gotten my halloween theme blog up in time. Happy Halloween!

  4. Awww! Can I have him? I really, really miss having little boys in my house.

    {hug} for the sweet reaper.

  5. Whoa!!! Your boy scared my mule!!!

  6. is your...destiny.
    Either that or I'll take your head off with this bad-ass ax.

  7. Sweet!! I'd give him extra candy!! My kids made it a mission to use their swords, pitchforks, sabers, etc. year round to annoy all of us!

  8. What a good boy he is -- product, no doubt, of a good mother.

    Love the boy.


  9. Man, where does he get that sweetness!
    BTW, the costume looks damn cool.

  10. What a beautiful story. I feel your love coming through the wire. My boy is 18 now but I still remember those moments that just blow you away with their beauty.

    Your son won 2 contests that night. 1. bestest kid in the world and 2. Kid with the bestest mom in the world.

    Well done!

  11. Homemade costumes are still the best, but more difficult to make and conceive. Hold on to the memories!

  12. WOW! He is going to be a fine young man and there is a girl out there who will be beyond blessed to call him her own.

    Ya did good there Dawn and the costume rocks!

  13. Awww, only you could rock a halloween post. Just love your stuff. -Kelly

  14. Dawn, good stuff here...I'm old enough to have been out there before the promoters figured out what a lucrative holiday Halloween could be. He had a good time and showed himself to be the kind of son we'd all be proud to have! This is great, keep bloggin'!

  15. Oh Dawn! You normally hit me in my funny bone, but today (although I am still giggling) you hit me in my teary bone. So sweet. I just adore him. And you. Mom guilt is such a bitch, I'm sure. No matter how cheap his costume, he looks pretty awesome to me.

  16. Kids can be so awesome when we least expect it.

  17. AWWWW! I'd make an exception to my 'no kids' rule for your kid. :) Plus am I the only one thinking that judging a kids' costume competition where half the kids are wearing expensive store bought costumes instead of making something or being creative is just bull anyway? Pah thirty dollar costumes!

  18. He's more than okay, though the costume is rather mediocre.

    I love the way you wrote this to him. (He didn't read it, did he?)

    Happy weekend, Dawn.

  19. Nix - Smell my feet!
    Linda - Thank you. He is a doll.
    Heidi - Yeah, neither he nor I had any idea what a "jawa" was. His scythe (sp?) was sold separately.
    Dawn - He is not perfect. There are some times you could have him ;)
    Ron - Hee-Hawwww!
    Penwasser - It is a pretty badass ax/scythe (sp?) thingie. He poked me with it a couple times.
    Laughingmom- Yes, the boy is a fan of any plastic weapon.
    Pearl - This moment reminded me a little bit of the post you did where your son broke out his piggy bank to pay the bills. One of my all time faves of yours.
    Eva - Thank you, my friend :)
    Marlia - Thanks! How nice of you. :)That's exactly what it was like - I was blown away by his sweetness, it's something I'll always remember.
    RJ - I plan on it, my friend. :)
    Monkey - Thanks! Loved your Halloween blog.
    Pixie - It better be a damn fine woman that gets him. ;)
    Wow - I dressed up as a slutty midget.
    Gene Pool - Love your stuff, too. You remind me of Hollis Gillespie.
    Kim - I remember when Halloween was no big deal, just a crappy mask from the dime store.
    Jen - You're right - mom guilt is a bitch, but at least I got this post out of it.
    Nolechick - Absolutely.
    Veg - Thanks! Yeah, I think you'd like my boy.
    Robyn - Thx dearie. And no, he hasn't read this. Yet. :)

  20. Aww!

    All little children should be that damn easy to please!