Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Go Home, March. You're Drunk

(post copyright 2016, Dawn Weber)

On Monday, it's sixty-seven,
On Tuesday, it's twenty-one,
I don't like to gripe about weather,
But go home, March. You are drunk.

Look - it's starting to snow now,
Or no. That is freezing rain,
But wait, I think the sun's coming out,
And poof! It is gone again.

Four seasons, one day - just crazy,
I feel like I'm losing my mind,
But March, you're the one who is schizo,
Though my sanity's not far behind.

The birds are back, feeling confused,
They're shaking their feathery heads,
"This is bullshit. Why'd I come home?"
They say as they freeze in their nests.

I leave the house in three layers,
By ten I am down to shirtsleeves,
At two I put on some shorts 'cause,
The temp's up by 30 degrees.

That's how March goes in the Midwest,
That's March in your average town,
Better stay in the house until April,
'Cause March is one scary-ass clown.

With winds that constantly blow me,
And not in any fun way,
I lie awake fearing tornadoes,
Shovel snow the very next day.

March, you're dirty and flirty,
Indeed you're a terrible tease,
You lead us on with the sunshine,
Then merrily knock down our trees.

I'm done with you, March. I mean it,
You've got me in a foul funk,
With your rain-sun-sleet-snow and windstorms,
Yes, go home, March. You are drunk.


  1. Replies
    1. Thanks, Debra. Humor found in misery. It's my thing.

  2. Hah! We've had days like that here, too. The temperature and air pressure changes hate my sinuses. Or is it the other way around?

    Dawn, your email address doesn't seem to be working. My email to you bounced back. (For details see my reply to your last post.)

    1. Hi Jenny! It gmail.com, not yahoo. So webs672002@gmail.com

    2. Thank you - email incoming right about ... now :)

  3. Oh yes. Tis true.
    However on this side of the world sweaty season appears to have stuck. Soooo unattractive. I am longing for the soft days and crisp night of autumn.

  4. I'm slipping on ice and falling in mud. Maybe March could run for Republican vice president.

  5. It's definitely been up and down with the temps. Might be in shorts tomorrow but yesterday the wind was so cold it practically took my face off.

    1. Yep. The best thing you can say about March? It ain't February.

  6. Love your poetry humor!! Can't wait to meet you ar Erma!

    1. Can't wait to meet you "in real life," Heidi in Real Life. :)

  7. jeez it was in the high 70's yesterday in NY. Everything is confused...

    1. It's supposed to be 70 here today, Jessica. We shall see...

  8. LOL this reminds me of the weather here in Germany.

  9. Hi, funny lady. Lisa sent me over & I'm now a follower. You might want to check out my blog at fishducky.blogspot.com!!

  10. It totally is about March! "Four seasons, one day - just crazy!" But good news is "March is the beginning of spring" :)