Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Winston Churchill: Naked Napper

(post copyright 2013, Dawn Weber)

Like so many folks, I am a fan of things that can be done without pants.

I refer, of course, to napping. What did you think I meant?

I'm certainly not alone - even the great Sir Winston Churchill was a strong believer in the art of the apparently naked midday rest:

"You must sleep some time between lunch and dinner, and no half-way measures. Take off your clothes and get into bed. That's what I always do. Don't think you will be doing less work because you sleep during the day. That's a foolish notion held by people who have no imagination . . ."

I ran across Sir Churchill's quote on the computer the other night, surfing the web, after realizing that I'd overlooked an Important National Holiday of Great Significance:

National Napping Day, March 11.

Hey - you snooze you lose. Ba-dum-bump. Thank you! I'm here all week. Tip your servers!

It doesn't really surprise me that I missed such a notable event; I have been engaged in an increasingly futile attempt to nap since 1997, when my first child was born.

All forms of sleep, in general, elude me these days - my brain never shuts off - and the older I grow, the less I sleep, to the point where I don't think I will ever lay down long enough to die. I'll just stagger around for centuries - the planet's first certified zombie - a wild-eyed, hideous, rotten old woman, begging strangers for Ambien.

Still, I wish I'd known about this National Napping Day, created in 1999 by presidents of The Napping Company - Boston University (BU) Professor, William Anthony, Ph.D., and his wife, Camille - to promote the health benefits of napping.

In a 2005 Napping Day press release from Boston University, the couple listed several significant advantages of napping. Here at Lighten Up! I am all about pilfering that press release and investigative reporting, so I have backed up some of the Anthony's claims with Scientific Facts from Me - The Expert - on account of the fact that I never successfully nap:

- Napping improves mood - makes you feel better
- Scientific Fact: I am a crabby bitch. Just ask my family.

- Napping improves performance - makes you more productive
- Scientific Fact: I am perpetually tired, therefore, lazy.

- Napping is no sweat - no shower needed
- Scientific Fact: Showering sounds like work. See sentence re: productivity, above.

- Napping is non-fattening - you cannot eat while napping
-Scientific Fact: I'm fat, and getting fatter all the time. Did I mention I cannot nap?

- Napping is no cost - no expensive clothes or equipment needed 
- Scientific Fact: As we've discussed, Winston Churchill and I support activities that don't require pants.

- Napping has no dangerous side effects - unless you are driving
-Scientific Fact: I have not, personally, napped while driving, nor have I heard back from anyone who has done so.

Well, thanks to those bits of hard-hitting journalistic research, we can see that naked mid-day siestas can benefit everyone. The Anthonys summed it up in a mission statement:

“Our goal is to encourage folks to take a nap wherever they may be, at home, at the workplace, or on vacation, and to make it a regular part of their healthy lifestyle,” said William Anthony, who, with Camille, is a co-author of "The Art of Napping at Work."

Yes, I think I speak for many when I say that sleeping in the workplace is a concept most people could support.

Of course, there are those who insist that napping - pants-free - on the job is a bad idea.

But that is a foolish notion held by people with no imagination.


  1. I have for awhile now, become a certified napper, a super napper, able to drop off to sleep in a single bound, be it couch or bed. Getting older has its benefits!

  2. I am curious as to whether your research indicates that men might nap more post-children while women nap less...because I have a sincere belief that this may be true. It's true for all moms I know :)

  3. Napping at work, or anywhere, has my vote too. Napping without pants gets two votes from me. Wait, can I decide who gets to nap with or without pants? Now I'm really stretching my constitutional rights. Forgive my weirdness. Be well and rested, dearie.


  4. And the mid-day peep shows of you are paying dividends as well. See you at nap time. xoxo

  5. That meme is hilarious unless of course you have been a victim of that but then chances are you aren't reading this, which is YOUR point and I'm rambling...I need a nap. You again are the queen of funny!

  6. I saw some sleep expert on TV say that people who have trouble shutting off their brains so they can sleep should try counting backward from 300. By threes. 300...297...294...and so forth. Claims it takes enough concentration to keep those other thoughts from intruding, and yet is boring enough to put you to sleep.

    Alas, I am apparently so good at counting backward by threes that I can think all those annoying other things at the same time... *sighs*

  7. I've been known to nap in my recliner while watching tv, on occasion!

  8. If you work from home- anything goes. Napping, pants, no pants, you name it it can and probably has been done.

    I agree with no pants, just keep the nickers on if there are little ones afoot.

  9. I'm gonna share this with the higher-ups at work, because I believe we need a nap room. A nude nap room, preferably.

  10. RJ - I have noticed that phenomenon with men; as they get older, they nap/sleep more, whereas women sleep less. Perhaps y'all are stealing are sleep? Not nice.
    Kerbi - Exactly. See RJ comment, above. ;)
    Robyn - Yes, absolutely - you decide who wears pants and who doesn't.
    Stacey - Ramble on, dearie, just glad to have you here.
    Linda - I tried this last night, and I have to say, it actually might have worked!! Thank you!!
    Eva - But were you wearing pants?
    You didn't tell us.
    Pixie - Oh yeah, I will keep the knickers on. Nobody wants to witness that...
    Monkey - Do it! Tell management you are exhausted, and sick to death of pants! Report back here with the outcome, please.

  11. I didn't know it was National Napping Day.
    Musta slept through it.

  12. I have been fighting naps since childhood.

    Still, the older I get, the more sense they make, especially since I, too, no longer sleep at night...

    Whirrrrrrrrrr. That was my brain.


  13. Al- Ba-dum-bump! Thank you, folks- Al's here all week!
    Pearl - I feel your *sleepless* pain. Our brains need a ctrl-alt-delete setting, no?

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  15. I usually nap with pants on, but I am inspired by this post to try it the other way. You can come and check on me if you'd like.