Friday, May 20, 2011

Real Men of Genius: Lighten Up! Edition

(post, copyright 2011, Dawn Weber)


You're probably expecting Thoughtful Journalistic Pieces from me now...since I'm still a big, fat nobody finalist and whatnot. But I didn't get this far by thinking. No sir. 


Intelligence: You're at the wrong blog.


Anyway, I am busy this week, planning a camping trip with old friends, where we will do Very Important Things. Such as sit around a fire, tube down the river and drink beer.


Luckily, my friend Muffy over at She's a Little Bit Cupcake, She's a Little Bit Out of Control gave me a great idea with this hilarious post about her brother. Please check her out, follow her and drink her Kool Aid!


Remember the "Real Men of Genius" Bud Light commercials? Muffy and I find them useful for many situations especially the situation called Muffy's brother...


As for me, Ladies and gents, I give you...
(If you're eating, stop now. I beseech you. Alright...you were warned.)

Lighten Up! Presents: Real Men of Genius


Today We Salute You, Mr. Interstate Booger-Picker.
(Mr. Interstate Booger Picker!)
In broad daylight,  one hand on the wheel, the other knuckle-deep in the noggin.
(Pick yourself a winner!)
There in the car, you feel invisible. You pick and flick and pick some more.
(Flick it out the window!)
Tissue? You don't need no stinkin' tissue.
(Tissues are for pussies!)
Yes, you may cause nausea in rush-hour traffic, but you arrive at work snot-free.
(Let's shake hands!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, O' Man of Mobile Mucus...Because anyone can use a hanky, but only rock-stars like you have balls enough to dig for green gold - in full public view.
(Mr. Interstate Booger Picker!)



Lest you don't know where Muffy and my genius idea originates, see below.

33 comments:

  1. Hilarious!! The great thing about reading your column is that I KNOW I'm going to laugh...every time! ;-)

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  2. Hilarious!! I could totally hear the song.... I often wonder why people think you can't see them in their cars. Did everyone have tinted windows once & forget that they're not anymore? Or do they find nothing wrong with picking their noses?

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  3. Awesome.
    If it was me? It totally would have been a pick. LOL

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  4. I would have paid money to see your face when you saw "Mr. Interstate Booger Picker". Lol - great blog Dawn! Thanks again for the smile.

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  5. LOL! What is it about being in a car that makes people feel invisible?

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  6. Do you think they get their cars detailed or do they ask their wives to vacuum them out for them? Funny!

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  7. LMAO...you don't need no stinkin tissue! I absolutely LOVE these commercials. You should really submit this to Budweiser. It might be the best one yet! You Rock! Have fun camping!

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  8. GUUUURL!!!
    "Intelligence: You're at the wrong blog." ?!?!
    I nearly spit out my coffee on that line! LOL "knuckle deep in the noggin..."!!!
    ...I could just repost your Real Men jingle right here and LOL at each line!!! :)
    So fun. The fun doesn't stop here. We should do these OFTEN. I already have another idea brewing. Thanks for the shoutouts, girl. You are a comedy genius.
    I LUB YOU.
    Muffy! Out!

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  9. AGGHHHH!!! SO. NASTY!

    I want to bang on my window and screech to the world, "I CAN SEE YOU!!!"

    The least they could do it get tinted glass!!

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  10. I just want to state the last comment from "Anonymous" was from moi! I hit the wrong button. Jeez...all I need to do is post anonymously on a nose picking post---people will think *gasps and clutches chest B actress/soap opera style* that I'm "one of them"!

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  11. I'd much rather hang out with Mr. Really Really Really bad dancer than Mr. Interstate Booger Picker. He looks like most of my friends!

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  12. Too too funny... I love the real men of genius commercials on the radio... it's awesome...

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  13. This is great! I'm proud to announce that I know Muffy in real life (although she's Buffy to me, as Buffy sounds like BFF). And I'll be honest, I've seen her nuckle deep in her noggin' on several occasions. :-)

    I love this post, as I love every post. Serious journalism is DEFINITELY your thing. ;-)

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  14. You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' nose.

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  15. Really makes me think twice about shaking hands...LMAO!

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  16. I think it's just a guy thing, in the car or walking through the parking lot. Just like the "adjusting" they think no one can see.

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  17. ROFL @ Dawn in DC. I call them out on adjusting when they do it.

    Just ask "Is that better?" Or "Are you comfortable now?"
    Another favorite of mine is "Wow! That's attractive...."

    *dripping sarcasm of course!*

    If they pick and flick- that's one thing. Holding a nostril closed and giving a hearty "Farmers Blow" is also disgusting.

    I can totally hear the music in my head. Thanks for the guaranteed laughs Dawn!

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  18. Wow. I should've heeded your warning about not eating while reading this :P Ugh. (Still a funny post, though.)

    Oh, and I just blogged about the Cherry on Top Award you gave me a million years ago. (Sorry.)

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  19. Lol at the Seinfeld pick..

    "There was nooo pick, no pick"

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  20. And I was finishing my dinner in front of the computer, too.

    I don't feel so good....

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  21. OK, I read your autocorrect post on my Google reader about "How you dong" and I laughed out loud.

    It's a shame it's gone because it was hilarious!!!

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