As for me, Ladies and gents, I give you... (If you're eating, stop now. I beseech you. Alright...you were warned.)
Lighten Up! Presents: Real Men of Genius
Today We Salute You, Mr. Interstate Booger-Picker. (Mr. Interstate Booger Picker!) In broad daylight, one hand on the wheel, the other knuckle-deep in the noggin. (Pick yourself a winner!) There in the car, you feel invisible. You pick and flick and pick some more. (Flick it out the window!) Tissue? You don't need no stinkin' tissue. (Tissues are for pussies!) Yes, you may cause nausea in rush-hour traffic, but you arrive at work snot-free. (Let's shake hands!) So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, O' Man of Mobile Mucus...Because anyone can use a hanky, but only rock-stars like you have balls enough to dig for green gold - in full public view. (Mr. Interstate Booger Picker!)
Lest you don't know where Muffy and my genius idea originates, see below.